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Acid Stuck In My Throat

Gtgt DUNCAN TRUSSELL I’LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH ACID HE PUT ON MY TONGUE BUT I DO KNOW. THE LOOK ON MY FRIENDS’ FACES WAS THE LOOK THAT SOMEONE WOULD HAVE AS THEY WERE WATCHING A PERSON FALL BACKWARDS INTO THE GRAND CANYON. gtgtARI SHAFFIR THANK YOU, EVERYBODY. IF YOU DON’T KNOW, HERE’S WHAT THE SHOW IS. IT’S JUST A BUNCH OF PEOPLE AND WE’RE ALL TELLING TRUE STORIES. HE’S GOT AN AMAZING PODCAST YOU GUYS SHOULD ALL CHECK OUT CALLED THE DUNCAN TRUSSEL FAMILY HOUR LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FRIEND AND YOURS,.

MR. DUNCAN TRUSSELL. gtgt DUNCAN TRUSSELL IN THE SUMMER BETWEEN MY JUNIOR SENIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL, ME AND A GROUP OF FRIENDS DECIDED THAT WE WERE GOING TO A GRATEFUL DEAD CONCERT IN CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA. AND WE WERE GOING TO THE CONCERT NOT BECAUSE WE LIKED THE GRATEFUL DEAD, BUT BECAUSE WE LOVED LSD AND ANY HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN SALT KNEW THAT IF YOU WANTED TO GET ACID YOU JUST WOULD GO TO WHEREVER THE GRATEFUL DEAD WAS BECAUSE THE GRATEFUL DEAD, THEY DON’T TOUR ANYMORE.

BUT IN THOSE DAYS, IN THE 90S, THERE WAS AN UNDOCUMENTED ACID BOOM, YOU COULD TRACE THE FLOW OF LSD THROUGH AMERICA BY FOLLOWING THE TOURING SCHEDULE OF THE GRATEFUL DEAD. NO JOKE, THAT’S ON THE DEA WEBSITE. YOU COULD LOOK, IT WOULD GO. THE GREATEFUL DEAD, IT WAS LIKE A PSYCHEDELIC GODZILLA THAT WOULD JUST RAMPAGE THROUGH AMERICA LEAVING BEHIND NOT DESTRUCTION, BUT JUST FREAKED OUT TRUST FUND KIDS, WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE JESUS AND INFINTE SHEETS OF ACID. IT WAS A TRUE ACID BOOM, IT REALLY WAS WE JUST WANTED ACID BECAUSE, NOT BECAUSE WE WANTED TO.

This Is Not Happening Duncan Trussell Dying on Acid Uncensored

TRANSFORM THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF AMERICA, BUT BECAUSE IF YOU HAD LSD WHEN YOU WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL YOU WERE BASICALLY GANDALF. YOU HAD MAGICAL POWERS. IF YOU HAD A HIT OF ACID YOU COULD TRANSFORM THE HEAD CHEERLEADER INTO A GOTH IN ONE NIGHT JUST LIKE THAT. IT WAS METAPHYSICAL IT WAS A VERY POTENT THING. THAT’S WHY WE WANTED THE ACID, ALSO THE FACT THAT TAKING LSD IN THE MORNING WHEN YOU’RE IN HIGH SCHOOL HELPS YOU FORGET THE FACT THAT YOU’RE AT AN INTERNMENT CAMP FOR TEENAGERS BEING RUN BY THE STATE WHICH IS REALLY NICE.

SO THE GRATEFUL DEAD. HAS ANYONE EVER BEEN TO A GRATEFUL DEAD SHOW SO YOU KNOW, OH YEAH YOU DEFINITELY HAVE, FRED. HOLY SHIT, YOU KNOW. THE GRATEFUL DEAD PARKING LOT WAS THE FIRST BURNING MAN. THAT WAS THE FIRST BURNING MAN. THE GRATEFUL DEAD PARKING LOT WAS BASICALLY AN OPEN AIR MARKET FOR PSYCHEDELIC DRUGS AND I REMEMBER AND I REMEMBER WHEN WE PULLED IN THERE, AND PARKED, THE WORRY THAT WE WEREN’T GOING TO BE ABLE TO BUY A SHEET OF ACID VANISHED WHEN SUDDENLY WE REALIZED THAT, THAT’S ALL THIS IS.

NOBODY LIKES LISTENING TO THE GRATEFUL DEAD, EVERYBODY JUST LIKES TAKING ACID AND THEY FOLLOWED THIS BAND AROUND BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE IT’S AT. BUT YOU WOULD SIT IN YOUR CAR AND FROM A DISTANCE AWAY YOU WOULD HEAR SOMEBODY CALLING OUT INNOCENTLY,ltigt BEER, COLD BEER FOR SALE, COLD BEER.ltigt YOU’D LOOK BACK, THERE’D BE A VERY THIN HIPPIE HOLDING A REALLY SMALL COOLER MAYBE COULD HOLD A TWELVE PACK, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. LIKE YOU WOULD HAVE TO GO BACK AND REFILL IT A LOT IF HE WAS SELLING BEERS. YOU’D SEE HIM WALKING,ltigt BEER, BEER ltigt.

BUT WHEN HE GOT BY YOUR CAR HE’D BE LIKEltigt DOSES, ACID, MUSHROOM,ltigt ltigtVALIUM, DOSES, ACID, MUSHROOMS.ltigt EVERYTHING WAS ABOUT SELLING ACID. THERE WERE DEA AGENTS THERE, YOU WOULD SEE FROM TIME TO TIME, IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS EVER, A HIPPIE WHO HAD BEEN BUSTED WOULD COME TEARING THROUGH THE PARKING LOT WITH THE COPS CHASING HIM AND THE OTHER HIPPIES WOULD JUST CLOSE IN LIKE A WHITE BLOOD CELL BLOCKING THE COPS SO THAT HE COULDN’T GET BUSTED. IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS YOU’VE EVER.

SEEN. FRUSTRATED COPS, ALL THE HIPPIES LOOK THE SAME, THEY’RE ALL IN TIEDYE. WE DON’T KNOW WHAT IT FUCKING WAS. IT WAS GREAT. SO WE’RE SITTING IN THE CAR, WE’VE MANAGED TO SAVE UP TWO HUNDRED AND TEN DOLLARS, WE FIGURE THAT’S ENOUGH TO BUY A SHEET OF ACID. WE’RE SITTING THERE AND THIS WEIRD HIPPIE WOMAN COMES UP NEXT TO OUR CAR, POKES HER HEAD IN THE CAR WINDOW AND SHE’S LIKE,ltigt YOU BOYS WANT TO BUY SOME ACIDltigt ltigt I’LL SELL YOU A SHEET FOR A HUNDRED AND TWENTY DOLLARS.ltigt.

WE’RE LIKEltigt FUCK, A HUNDRED AND TWENTY DOLLARS THAT LEAVESltigt ltigt EIGHTY DOLLARS FOR GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES, WE’RE SET.ltigt SHE GETS IN THE CAR, OPENS UP THIS TIEDYE SATCHES AND INSIDE IS A ZIPLOC BAG FILLED WITH SHEETS OF ACID. MUST HAVE BEEN A HUNDRED SHEETS OF ACID IN THERE. OUR HANDS ARE SHAKING, WE GIVE HER THE MONEY. SHE GIVES US THIS SHEET OF ACID, VANISHES INTO THE CROWD AND SUDDENLY WE’RE SITTING IN THE CAR WITH THE HOLY GRAIL, A FUCKING SHEET OF ACID, A SQUARE, WITH A HUNDRED PERFORATED SQUARES INSIDE.

OF IT AND EACH OF THOSE PERFORATIONS IS A HIT THAT RESPRESENTS EIGHT HOURS OF TALKING TO ALIENS. THAT’S EIGHT HUNDRED HOURS OF COMMUNING WITH THE UNIVERSE IN THIS SQUARE. THIS IS ENOUGH TO LAST FOR THE REST OF THE SUMMER, AND INTO THE NEXT YEAR. IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT. AND THAT’S WHEN WE MET SATAN. AT THAT SECOND, A HIPPIE POKED HIS HEAD THROUGH THE WINDOW BEFORE WE COULD EVEN PUT THIS SHEET AWAY, IF IT HAD BEEN A COP WE WOULD HAVE BEEN BUSTED IMMEDIATELY, POKES HIS HEAD.

THROUGH THE WINDOW, SEES US STARING AT THIS SHEET OF ACID LIKE WE’RE GAZING INTO THE ARC OF THE COVENANT. LOOKS AT IT, LOOKS AT US, IS LIKE,ltigt WELCOME TO IT, DUDES, WELCOME TO THE DEAD.ltigt NOW MY FRIENDS ARE HYPNOTIZED BY THIS GUY BECAUSE HE’S LIKE A TRUE DEADHEAD. HE LOOKS LIKE A PIRATE THAT FELL OUT OF A RAINBOW. HE’S WEARING A BANDANNA WITH LIKE PSYCHEDELIC SKULLS AND TRIANGLES ALL OVER IT AND HE’S GOT A BIG RED BEARD, A LAZY EYE. HE SMELLS LIKE HE FELL INTO A VAT OF PATCHOULI, JUST REEKING.

OF PINE SOL AND BODY ODOR. AND MY FRIENDS LIKE ARE IMMEDIATELY HYPNOTIZED BY THIS GUY, GUESS HE REPRESENTS WHAT WE ALL WANTED TO BE IN SOME PART OF OURSELVES, SOME WEIRD, FREE SOUL. YOU COULD JUST TELL THIS GUY HAD BEEN FOLLOWING THE GRATEFUL DEAD MAYBE FOR A MILLION YEARS, LIKE BEFORE THEY EVEN EXISTED HE WAS FOLLOWING THEM IN THE DEPTHS OF SPACE LIKE AFTER THE BIG BANG HE EXPLODED OUT OF IT AND JUST STARTED FOLLOWING THE GRATEFUL DEAD. SO HE’S LIKE,ltigt LISTEN, YOU GUYS, NOW YOU COULD TAKE THAT SHEETltigt.

LtigtOF ACID BACK HOME WITH YOU, OR I COULD HELP YOU SELL IT AND WEltigt ltigt COULD TURN IT OVER IN AN HOUR, AND WE COULD BUYltigt ltigt TWO SHEETS OF ACID.ltigt IM LIKE,ltigt I DON’T WANT TO SELL IT, YOU GUYS. WHY DON’T WE JUSTltigt ltigtNO, WE DON’T WANT TO SELL IT. I WANT TO TAKE IT BACK TO HIGHltigt ltigtSCHOOL, MAN.ltigt THE HIPPIE ZOOMS IN ON ME, REALIZING I’M RESISTING, HE’S LIKE,ltigt OPEN YOUR MOUTH, DUDE. I WANNA EVEN UP THIS ltigt ltigtSHEET.ltigt NOW THIS MAKES NO SENSE. EVEN UP THE SHEET.

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN LIKE, IT’S NOT SYMMETRICAL ENOUGH YOU WANT TO MAKE IT MORE AESTHETICALLY PLEASING WHEN YOU TRY TO SELL IT AT A GRATEFUL DEAD CONCERT BUT I OPENED MY MOUTH, AND I WATCH AS HIS HAND MOVES FORWARD AND PUTS SOME AMOUNT OF ACID ONTO MY TONGUE. I’LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH ACID HE PUT ON MY TONGUE BUT I DO KNOW THE LOOK ON MY FRIENDS’ FACES WAS THE LOOK THAT SOMEONE WOULD HAVE AS THEY WERE WATCHING A PERSON FALL BACKWARDS INTO THE GRAND CANYON.

IT WAS A LOOK OF SUCH INTENSE HORROR AND PITY AND SADNESS ALL ROLLED UP INTO THIS ONE EXPRESSION. I KNEW THAT I WAS FUCKED. I KNEW LIKE,ltigt OH I’M FUCKED.ltigt WITHIN AN HOUR I’M HAVING THE BEST TRIP OF MY LIFE. IT’S INCREDIBLE. EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE. THE ASPHALT IS WAVING AND BUBBLING AND THESE BEAUTIFUL BUBBLES. SUDDENLY I REALIZE, OH NOW I KNOW WHAT THE GRATEFUL DEAD ARE. THEY’RE WHAT’S LEFT OF THE ELVES, THAT’S WHAT THEY ARE. THE DEAD HEADS ARE ELVES AND THEY’RE FOLLOWING THE GRATEFUL DEAD AROUND BECAUSE THEY’RE INTERDIMENSIONAL.

FAIRY CREATURES. IM LOOKING INTO THE SIDEWALK, INTO THE PAVEMENT AND I CAN ACTUALLY SEE EGYPTIAN WRITING, PRIMORDIAL SYMBOLS. IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE HAS JUST GONE AND PAINTED CONAN THE BARBARIAN RUNES ON EVERYWHERE. I WENT INTO THE PORTAJOHN, THERE’S NOTHING WORSE ON EARTH THAN THE PORTA JOHN OF A GRATEFUL DEAD CONCERT. IT’S HORRIBLE, BUT I WAS SO HIGH AND HAPPY THAT IT WAS LIKE BEING IN HEAVEN. I WAS LOOKING DOWN AND THE TOILET PAPER LOOKED LIKE THE WINGS OF ANGELS FLAPPING. IT’S LIKE THIS IS HEAVEN IM SO GLAD WE MET THAT HIPPIE, HE’S TEACHING ME.

WE’RE LEAVING THAT NIGHT, MY FRIEND LOOKS AT ME AND HE’S LIKE, DUNCAN,ltigt MY FACE IS MELTING OFF MY HEAD RIGHT NOW.ltigt IT SEEMED REALLY HILARIOUS TO ME AT THE TIME. SO I LAUGH REALLY HARD, BUT I HAD BEEN CHEWING ON A LITTLE PIECE OF DENIM THREAD THAT WAS FALLING OFF OF MY CRAPPY CUT OFF SHORTS AND SO I SUCKED THAT THREAD INTO MY THROAT AND STARTED COUGHING AND COUGHING AND COUGHING. AND I STARTED THINKING LIKE,ltigt WAIT A MINUTE, I JUST INHALEDltigt ltigt A DEMIN THREAD INTO MY LUNGS.ltigt AND WITH THE WEIRD, EERIE.

CLARITY THAT PSYCHEDELICS GIVE YOU, I COULD SEE INSIDE MY LUNGS I COULD SEE THE INNOCENT PINK OF MY LUNGS SUDDENLY BEING INVADED BY A MAGGOTLIKE THREAD OF WHITE DEMIN WHICH WAS AT THAT VERY MOMENT BURROWING DOWN INTO MY LUNGS WHICH HAD STARTED TO FROTH WITH PUSS AND BLOOD. AND THAT’S WHEN I REALIZED I WAS DYING. I HAD INHALED A STRING WHICH WAS IN MY LUNGS AND MY LUNGS WERE HEMORRHAGING AND THERE WAS NO WAY YOU COULD SURVIVE THAT. THIS WAS BEFORE GOOGLE, YOU COULDN’T GOOGLE,ltigt CAN YOU DIEltigt.

Ltigt FROM INHALING A STRINGltigt SO I DIDN’T WANT TO DISRUPT MY FRIENDS’ WONDERFUL EVENING, BY DYING IN FRONT OF THEM. SO I DIDN’T TELL THEM THAT I THOUGHT I WAS DYING BECAUSE I HAD A STRING IN MY THROAT. BUT I STARTED MAKING THESE NOISES EVERY FEW MINUTES. heaving AND THEN LIKE I WOULD ASK THEM KINDA OFFHAND LIKE, ltigtHEY, YOU GUYS, LIKE IF SOMEBODY DID INHALE A STRING INTO THEIRltigt ltigtLUNGS, DO YOU THINK THEY’D DIEltigt AND MY FRIENDS ARE LIKE, ltigt YEAH, PROBABLY, YEAH, YOU’D PROBABLY DIE.ltigt I WAS CERTAIN I WAS DYING AND WE GOT TO THE HOLIDAY INN PARKING.

LOT WHERE WE WERE GONNA SPEND THE NIGHT IN MY FRIEND’S CAR. GOT OUT OF THE CAR, IN THE DISTANCE WE HEARD THIS hissing WHICH IS THE SOUND OF NITROUS OXIDE BEING RELEASED TO FILL UP A BALLOON. NOW THAT SOUND HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON HIPPIES THAT ICE CREAM TRUCK MUSIC HAS ON KIDS. THEY GO IN THAT DIRECTION TO THAT SOUND. SO MY FRIENDS ALL JUST STARTED, THEY JUST LEFT ME, MOVING IN THE DIRECTION OF THE NITROUS OXIDE. AND I WENT INTO THE BACKSEAT OF MY FRIEND’S CAR TO DIE, CERTAIN.

THAT THIS WAS IT, I WAS GOING TO DIE. THIS THOUGHT OCCURS TO ME WHICH IS LIKE,ltigt WELL, SINCE I’M ALREADYltigt ltigtDYING, WHY DON’T I GO AND INHALE NITROUS OXIDE BECAUSE MAYBEltigt ltigt THAT’LL HELP THE BAD TRIP.ltigt THIS IS THE SAME IDEA IN DANTE’S INFERNO WHICH IS THAT IF YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HELL, YOU DON’T GO TO THE SIDE OF HELL, YOU GO TO THE CENTER OF HELL, AND CLIMB DOWN SATAN’S LEG. THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT WOULD HAPPEN IF I WENT AND DID NITROUS OXIDE. SO I GO AND FIND MY FRIENDS, FIND THE.

NITROUS OXIDE TANK. THEY FILL BALLONS UP WITH THIS GAS, I INHALE THE GAS, AND THAT IS WHEN I HAD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND INCREDABLE EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE. SUDDENLY I WAS NO LONGER A TEENAGER IN HIGH SCHOOL, AT THE GRATEFUL DEAD CONCERT, DYING WITH A STRING IN HIS THROAT. SUDDENLY I WAS EVERYTHING. I BECAME THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. THERE WAS THIS MOMENT WHERE THERE WAS NO MORE ME, JUST THIS WAVE OF ETERNAL CONSCIOUSNESS. A KIND OF NEVER ENDING LOVE FIELD THAT EXISTS THROUGH ALL THINGS. I WAS GONE, IN PARADISE FOR A MOMENT. AND THEN AS I STARTED.

COMING TO IT WAS LIKE I WAS HOVERING OVER THIS MY BODY, LOOKING DOWN ON MYSELF AS THE UNIVERSE. AND I WAS THINKING,ltigt UGH, LOOK AT THATltigt ltigt POOR, POOR KID. HE’S GOT A STRING IN HIS THROAT ANDltigt ltigtHE’S, HE’S GONNA DIE. OH, I FEEL SO HORRIBLE FOR HIM.ltigt AND THEN, I ZOOMED BACK DOWN INTO MYSELF AND IMMEDIATELY PASSED OUT, FALLING ON THE GROUND. I CAME TO COUGHING, CHOKING, COUGHING AND I SPIT INTO MY HAND A GLOB OF PERFECTLY HEALTHY MUCUS AND INSIDE OF IT WAS A TINY STRING. AND THAT’S.

WHEN I REALIZED THERE WAS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. AND TO THIS DAY I STILL REMEMBER THAT, ANYTIME I GET WORRIED ABOUT ANYTHING I REMEMBERltigt COME ON, MAN, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS,ltigt ltigt IT’S JUST A STRING IN YOUR THROAT. THERE’S NOTHING TOltigt ltigt WORRY ABOUT, BECAUSE HUMAN BEINGS ARE ESSENTIALLY Altigt ltigt STRING.ltigt WE’RE JUST A STRING CAUGHT IN THE THROAT OF ETERNITY. AND EVEN IF YOU’RE DYING OF CANCER WELL, NO, THAT SUCKS, BUT. THE NEXT TIME YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR PHONE BILL OR WHATEVER IT IS, JUST REMEMBER, IT’S.

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